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Can you believe I have been posting at this same address since september of 2001?!!!

I decided to give moving a try...can't hurt, right?

so change me in your blog reader for now so you can keep reading me..and if I decide to change back, you can change it back later.

here is my new address..
http://afixedgaze.blogspot.com/
i repeat i will no longer be posting to the livejournal address until further notice ;)


see you at blogspot :)

thinking of changing journal locations

hey friends! i need your help. I am thinking of changing my journal location...my livejournal is sometimes really difficult to work with..ie. it is hard to give it a makeover, it is hard to upload pictures, it is slow to respond at times..etc.

where should i move to? blogger? blogspot(is that the same as blogger?)? wordpress? xanga?

looking at most of the blogs I read they are mostly @blogspot.com...i am guessing that is the most popular..is that where i should go?

what is easy to design? easy to post pictures? easy to receive comments to my email?

AND the big kicker..i would love to transfer all of my livejournal stuff over to my new location, too...i have years and years of blogging that i don't want to lose because of an inactive account..so i would need to be able to transfer it all over somehow.

help anyone?

if not, i will just stay here and practice being content :)

oh, and don't you worry, readers..you will know if I decide to move...

a thought

I was reading psalm 22 this morning and a thought struck my heart. Do you feel far from Christ? pained by life? saddened by your sin? abandoned by your Father? I did this morning. Just felt almost "feelingless" and angry because of it...then I read this psalm and realized something..the very moments we feel this way, are the moments we are getting a small taste of what Jesus felt on the cross, as he was separated from His father in order to redeem me. He said, "'my God, my God, Why have you abandoned me?' hung His head and died"..

We will never be separated from His care, and when we feel as though we are, it is then we can empathize in a small way with the Son.

Psalm 22

For the director of music. To the tune of "The Doe of the Morning." A psalm of David.

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?
2 O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent.

3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Israel. [a]

4 In you our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.

5 They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

6 But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by men and despised by the people.

7 All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads:

8 "He trusts in the LORD;
let the LORD rescue him.
Let him deliver him,
since he delights in him."

9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you
even at my mother's breast.

10 From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother's womb you have been my God.

11 Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help.

12 Many bulls surround me;
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

13 Roaring lions tearing their prey
open their mouths wide against me.

14 I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me.

15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me [b] in the dust of death.

16 Dogs have surrounded me;
a band of evil men has encircled me,
they have pierced [c] my hands and my feet.

17 I can count all my bones;
people stare and gloat over me.

18 They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.

19 But you, O LORD, be not far off;
O my Strength, come quickly to help me.

20 Deliver my life from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.

21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save [d] me from the horns of the wild oxen.

22 I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the congregation I will praise you.

23 You who fear the LORD, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!

24 For he has not despised or disdained
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.

25 From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
before those who fear you [e] will I fulfill my vows.

26 The poor will eat and be satisfied;
they who seek the LORD will praise him—
may your hearts live forever!

27 All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him,

28 for dominion belongs to the LORD
and he rules over the nations.

29 All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
those who cannot keep themselves alive.

30 Posterity will serve him;
future generations will be told about the Lord.

31 They will proclaim his righteousness
to a people yet unborn—
for he has done it.
For many years, I have gone to a bible study of some form at least once per week. Too often attending a bible study is my attempt to check the “spiritual” area, off of my list. My tendency, my sin..is to go to the study and enter in enough to feel good about where I am and what I am doing and then walk away and forget the word that was presented. As I sat down to read through James the very first week of the study, it was James 1:22-25 that convicted me.

James 1:
22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

I prayed then that this study would be more than a thing that I used to pacify myself. That this study would change my heart, and my mind...I am still praying that. I want it to transform me, to matter in the grand scheme of my life.

James 1:
 26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
The Lord used James to reveal the depth of sin in my heart.

My life doesn't match up in the tongue area, the orphans and widows area, or the unstained by the world area. My tongue doesn't have a tight rein on it. I speak harshly without thinking, share extraneous information with friends, and allow other believing friends to speak non-truths as I grin and agree. I am not spending my life looking after orphans and widows, especially if they are distressed. If someone is socially inept, in extreme pain, or has deep wounds..it makes me uncomfortable..and I will help a minimum amount and then steer clear. I want to live comfortably. Loving people who are hard to love is difficult and causes discomfort. My thoughts would many times look the same as that of an unbeliever. I am polluted by the world, entertaining its ideas and ideals because I am not spending time knowing the Lord, His word, and His people. My prayers often sound like “Lord, take this away, so I don't have to rely so much on you.” or “Lord, make my life easier.” I spend every waking hour thinking about me and other things that the world values. Are my eyebrows arching enough? Is my hair style current enough? Am I too grey? Did I work out today? Am I balancing my time well? How can I improve my schedule to maximize my roles?

As the Lord is showing me my exceeding sinfulness, he is revealing His truth to my heart. Romans 12:1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Every second, all resources, all money, all of my time, anything He has given to me is His and to be held with a very loose grip. I need to prayerfully be ready to give away what I call “mine”. My life should be a constant sacrifice. I should live each second striving to glorify Him, reading His word, telling His truths, loving His children, and communing with Him. As I fail to apply this truth, as I for sure will, I am to repent of my unbelief and turn back to my Loving Father who will show me again and again how to proceed. As we look together into the mirror and remember the truths the Lord is teaching us, let's pray that we will encourage each other toward Glorifying our Father and knowing His love more fully.

how are you doing, friend?

I am doing well, ie. turning to Christ amidst struggle...I am struggling with my hair..i know that sounds weird..and I know it is not my hair that is the real problem..I am having what I will call a "hair crisis"..it is really really changing to grey, but also really really changing texture..and so I went to republic to get a cut and the cut is super cute but now I can't do a thing to it..and can't make it look like the girl had it looking at the salon..ok, so here is the real problem, I am spending hours of my day pondering my hair, messing with it, putting stuff in it...my hair has become elevated above Christ...This is where you come in, please pray for me to put this foolishness to death..that every time my mind wanders to my hair situation, i will repent and move beyond it. I really just want to shave it all off, but know that if it wasn't my hair it would be my butt, or my eyebrows, etc..so we just need to join together in prayer for my heart.

that is my prayer request..can't wait to hear yall's.

never never tire


Are we praying for one another? Are we spending time with the Lord throughout our day/week? Are we praying without ceasing...repenting throughout the day when our mind wanders to other things that are not Christ?

2 Thessalonians 3:
11We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat. 13And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.

I just recently finished reading Practicing the Presence of God Conversations and Letters of Brother Lawrence a collection of spiritual insights into the heart of God as revealed through letters and rememberences (is that a word?) of conversations had with Brother Lawrence (1605-1691) REALLY good book!!! An easy read that was very very encouraging toward me being prayerful throughout the day, and when I find myself wandering to things of the world...simply repent and move on...turning back to Christ.
"I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility and with love; and I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him."
... Brother Lawrence

to replace trivial with Truth

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. 14Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:13-16


lies


my life won't be fuller if my hair is cute, sassy, stylish, and not grey
my life won't be bouncier if my tennis shoes are nike lunar..the same ones my favorite fitness instructor at the ymca wears
my life won't be more complete with another year membership to the ymca for my birthday
my life won't be better if someone comes to look at and buy our super cute winterville house and we move to a bigger house somewhere else
my life won't be more fun if my abs were tighter and i looked better in these jeans
my life won't be sexier if my eyebrows have the perfect arch

so why do i think on these lies all day long?

Lord, will you change my mind. will you invade my thoughts? i want to repent every second of pondering these worldly thoughts that take me away from your presence. i want to think on you.

forgiveness and grace and children

ok, i promise that I will post another original thought one of these days, but today I just find more great writing from my blog friends.

This one from "fly through my window" (a girl whom i have never met who i only started reading because a friend blogger (abby) linked to her recipe one day and i clicked on the link and was hooked to the new blog forever :)

on forgiveness and grace with our children:


http://www.flythroughourwindow.com/2010/03/forgiveness_grace/

what a fun post...

i learned something new today from a long time friend who moved away and has now become a blog friend :)
http://elizabethdarkwiley.blogspot.com/2010/03/production-polish.html
thanks Liz!